This time, I enjoy to use English to writing because you know, this is an effect after I listened and watched English content. Also, I feel more enjoy to tell my love story with English than Indonesian. Though my English grammar still low, just read it, ya. So, let start.
During pandemic of Covid-19, we can not go anywhere and do any outside activities as usual as before. Of course we know that we have to obey our government to stay at home. Nowadays everything is like limited. We have to keep survive in this boredom. We should to keep spirit to each other. We also missing many friends and we just can meet them by virtual meeting.
It feel very sad when I writing this feeling. Because, you know, as I said before, we miss our friends and surely our love. Someone we love. Guys, I have to tell you that I loved this one so deeply—I don’t know why. For years, I still in doubt and can’t be honest with myself. But now, I’m sure and no doubt and I recognize this feeling. I’m in love now. And sadly, when I relized on this feeling that people called by love, I felt anxiety and painful. I want to meet him soon and see his smile again. I miss his laugh, his deep jokes, and all. Everything about him. Yet, I have to keep this feeling just for myself, because I afraid if he knows about this. I think he already know my feeling, but he acts like doesn’t know, maybe.
(Friends, I’m crying now)
Love is complex feeling. I never imagine that I’m like crazy person who anywhere I am, anything I do, I always remember about him. I’ve prayed to my God, of course, to keep my heart and save me from zina that can makes me got big sins and then drag me to His hell, naudzubillah. Yet, this feeling can’t go out from my heart and my mind. I’ve made myself busy as hard as I could, but still I failed.
I have written about this complex thing on my blog before, which is told about boy and it’s also filled with some criterias of boy who I’ll loving by. Yet, I don’t know about the God’s plans. I don’t know about tomorrow. I don’t know about everything. Love is like a magic. Really a magic. I never imagine if I could falling in love with that one! Oh!
Things that I should to do, is nothing. Just let this feeling on my heart until... I don’t know. Until this love go away or changed with another? Until this feeling replied? Oh, no. I still haven’t ready yet. There are many things I can’t accept about doing a relationship. So, I will not doing anything about that right now and so on.
I feel a little better now.
Okay, I will always keep going. I will never think about the next destiny of my love. Just be calm and don’t worry about everything. Allah will handle it. So, see you on the next topics. I'm going to continue my study, daa.. daa.
Anyway, I writing too short, right? All I wan’t to write is done. Just that. You don’t have to know who is he, because, if I mention his name, I afraid he will read my blog, haha! Bye!